oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
