is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize