I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
