It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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