remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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