T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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