This is not my ceiling
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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