finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
