It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
