i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.