Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
This beer is not sobering me up at all
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve