Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?