I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
There r osticjed everywhere
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.