Texts From Last Night

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  (516): View more from New York

  He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.

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  (516): He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home. http://tfl.nu/ewc8
  Replies (38) Good night (815) Bad night (6597)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?

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  (812): How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt? http://tfl.nu/qj8s
  Replies (46) Good night (5654) Bad night (1511)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.

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  (972): I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it. http://tfl.nu/h8bb
  Replies (7) Good night (826) Bad night (3213)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C

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  (401): so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C http://tfl.nu/zt1d
  Replies (12) Good night (3990) Bad night (1105)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.

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  (315): I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen. http://tfl.nu/w329
  Replies (4) Good night (2119) Bad night (1118)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.

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  (662): they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments. http://tfl.nu/u5vp
  Replies (10) Good night (2742) Bad night (1242)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly

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  (678): I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly http://tfl.nu/mkzb
  Replies (6) Good night (3201) Bad night (1138)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird

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  (630): Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird http://tfl.nu/yn9e
  Replies (5) Good night (768) Bad night (1646)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.

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  (303): I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen. http://tfl.nu/li1t
  Replies (4) Good night (2097) Bad night (643)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.

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  (419): I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one. http://tfl.nu/6e70
  Replies (6) Good night (589) Bad night (1204)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.

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  (919): We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible. http://tfl.nu/ny7k
  Replies (0) Good night (860) Bad night (473)
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  (315): View more from New York

  New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..

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  (315): New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own.. http://tfl.nu/1bvs
  Replies (5) Good night (395) Bad night (615)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "

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  (217): He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick " http://tfl.nu/w39y
  Replies (2) Good night (760) Bad night (345)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.

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  (716): I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender. http://tfl.nu/johq
  Replies (1) Good night (539) Bad night (355)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls

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  (908): Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls http://tfl.nu/2qe0
  Replies (1) Good night (568) Bad night (625)

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