But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.