I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
