That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
