We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
