so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
We just shotgunned beers for America
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
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