brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
