Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
