You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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