Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
