WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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