ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
