But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
