someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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