we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
