she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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