I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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