We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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