I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
