Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
