Midget sex pt 2 tonight
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
