How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
