i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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