We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Can I color on your dick again?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
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