you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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