Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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