The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
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My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
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Those nachos came to me in a dream
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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