i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
