Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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