Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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