I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
