just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize