she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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