either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
