Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
