Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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