...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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