Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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