Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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