Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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