In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
there is glitter all over my balls
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
