So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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