Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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