the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize