Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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