I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
