I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
