He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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