You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize