I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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