This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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