I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
