I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
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